Some days back I was working with three couples who came with different types of problems that they wanted to resolve. Two couples were troubled by the expectations of the men's parents, their language, cultural differences, rituals, and taunts. And the third couple was troubled by the trust issue after 12 years of marriage.
Couples who were troubled by the inlaws were the most puzzling cases for me. In both cases, both women ended up with some psychological problems. One of them became depressed and the other one started experiencing severe anxiety. In the case of the third case, it was again the woman who was experiencing anxiety and the pain of heartbreak. After a few sessions, the troubles of these couples were reduced; they came to some understanding with each other, found out their ways of handling the issues, and rediscovered each other. But these cases leave some unanswered questions in my mind about our society in general.
• Are the family rituals so important that the inlaws keep comparing them all the time and fail to understand that this comparison is hurting their daughter-in-law?
• Is the emotional stability of the woman not important who loves your son unconditionally?
• Can a woman from a different culture, different country, different ritual, different language add spices to the family routine and create something new by combining it with yours?
• Why, in all the cases, are the women the ones who are the most troubled partners even though they are highly educated, hold high-paying jobs, and are independent?
• Why can men not explain to their parents what is troubling their wives?
• Why the parents don't understand that once your son or daughter is married, your job as a parent stops and you are there to give support when required and asked for?
• Why the parents don't understand that it's time for them to enjoy their own life and enjoy the beautiful love relationship with their kids?
• Why can men not take a firm stand and tell their parents that they are hurting their wives? I want both of you; it would be so wonderful to have both sides have mutual understanding.
• Why can't the woman see the efforts of their husbands when they are trying to keep the balance between both parties?
Some of the above questions are taken care of during the sessions which the clients can take action upon. Some questions remain unanswered, which concern the societal approach while integrating the newlywed woman into the family, giving importance to her comfort, her emotions, her well-being, and her unconditional acceptance in the family.
I look forward to the reader's feedback, personal experiences and thoughts that can help me and other readers improve our understanding of society and help troubled couples in general.
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